Sunday, August 22, 2010

You want me to get up at what time?

Race the Lake.
5:50 a.m. start time.
4 a.m. wake up call.
Slumber party at casa del jansen.

Armed with my drugs, I arrive for the pre-Race the Lake sleepover. In true Kelly fashion, she has created for me a lovely little space in the basement with mood lighting, snuggly sheets and comfy pillows. And, just to remind everyone, it is ok to go to bed at 8 p.m.

After 45 solid minutes of complaining, our world was suddenly filled with spandex, wheels, tire pumps, grease, body marking, timing chips and coming up was a solid 90 mile bike ride. We arrive in our true form. Just in time to find our team, get our stuff, take our stuff back to the car, find our team again and line up in a wave that is completely inappropriate for our usual speeds.

And can we just say, teamdawnkelly loves draft parties and we were partying like it was 1999 all the way to High Cliff State Park. Weaving in and out of other riders, we smiled from ear to ear at the insanely fast speeds we were able to produce. We were pretty much on target to win the entire thing all together.

Well, that was the thought on the first flat 45 miles. After a quick stop at High Cliff for cookies and pickles (yes, pickles) teamdawnkelly climbed our favorite hill and treked on along the east side of Lake Winnebago. The east side sucked in comparison to the west side, however, we occasionally found new "friends" to ride with a.k.a. pull our asses along.

After we ditched some random girl who was not only useless in our biking adventure but also irritating, we carried on with ourselves and out in East Jesus Nowhere we were finally told by some innocent bystanders that "It's all downhill from here." And it literally was. Thank god because it was the point in our rides that we start to bitch and complain about everything. Literally everything.

We pretty much dominated our bike ride though finishing 90 miles in 4 hours and 56 minutes of biking time. And this is what our finish looked like: we are the only ones coming down the road, we stop, volunteers remove timing chips, we get back on our bikes and say "let's get the eff out of here."

Subway was calling out "teamdawnkelly", along with chips, cherry coke and lemonade to boot. And instead of getting home at 3 p.m., we arrived at 1 p.m. That is speed in it's truest form.

We raced the lake and teamdawnkelly is 100% positive we won. So now we are just waiting for our booty.

And now we are 3 weeks out. Only 2 more weekend of training. We just vomited.

IM Cash Box Update: $209.25

Aprons, Almond Joy Lattes, Antique Earrings and Antibiotics...

I'm pretty certain we have been waiting for this blog post title for about 2 weeks. And might I add that although the title has nothing to do with training, we did swim as well.

One of the most glorious activities to do in Elkhart Lake on a Saturday morning is to attend their fantastic Farmers Market because they sell aprons. And you can't walk around a Farmers Market without Almond Joy Lattes from Thyme Savours. And then you also can't walk around a Farmers Market without purchasing antique earrings from a woman who offers up a sweet deal. Done. Done. And Done.

But let's rewind. We meet in Forest Junction, a terribly convenient meeting point that just recently came to us, and I am on the cusp of sticking a tube down my throat because I can't breath. Nor can I talk. "You know, we don't have to swim today if you can't breath." - Kelly. But we did, because aside from the swimming, we had to check off the "A's" from our list.

As consistent as ever, teamdawnkelly threw down a quick 2.4 miles because we are sleek and slippery in our newly tie-dyed wetsuits. (Kelly has the best wetsuit drama before each swim. This time, in addition to the divots, the leg was heavily discolored in an tie-dye/alligator fashion.) We get through the swim, disregarding the random bird feathers everywhere, because we know what is coming in the very near future.

Just as we exit the water at 9:30 a.m., the sun came out, just in time for our usual routine. While the sun gods were upon us, so were the parking spot gods. Almond Joy Lattes were delivered and although we were slightly disappointed in the disappearance of the apron lady, we came upon the beautiful antique jewels. "I'll give these to you instead of for $10 each, but 2 for $15." Sold. But alas, we found the original apron lady, to which we each gave our $5 for matching aprons. Could the day have gotten any better?

Yes, it could have for me. I spent a better portion of my afternoon in the emergency room getting cured for strep throat. How does one randomly get strep throat? I got my ANTIBIOTICS and TYLENOL WITH CODEINE. Life was looking up.

Oh, and I forgot to mention Kelly's newly polished toes in the PERFECT RED. Congrats on the pedicure my friend.

Okay, this time for real, up next is Race the Lake.

IM Cash Box Update: $186.75

Two Women and a Lake

It all started with an email questioning the possibility of an Ironman activity mid-week. Because we are often switching and moving and taking out (nah, we don't really take out training days???!!!) days on the training calendar, Wednesday offered an early morning swim at High Cliff followed by a lovely 45 minute run. The planning ended with a simple "See you at the beach."

From the time I learned about summer and daylight until my beginning in my 31 years of life, I am familiar with the idea that following June 21st, the days start getting shorter and this was very evident at 5:30 a.m. that day.

After using a non-lit bathroom and running back to my car to save my life for fear of creatures in the dark, teamdawnkelly reunited and without skipping a beat, Kelly looks at me and says, "This was all your idea." It wasn't one of my best ideas.

It was dark. It was windy. It was WAVY! The scene was straight out of a horror film. The sounds of the wind through the trees and the waves hitting the shore and the strange color of the morning screamed "You are going to die right this very second."

Thankfully, we find this funny. And who wouldn't laugh and to amateurs trying to dolphin dive into 4 foot waves. Clearly we suck at it. We got tossed and turned around our own makeshift swim course and certainly swallowed more Lake Winnebago water than necessary. When we finally got comfortable with our water situation, the vultures moved in.

And via a Facebook status comment from Kelly:
"Vultures were flying over head thinking...brilliant!!! two idiots decided to swim in a hurricane in the dark of night....lunch is served!"

As you probably know, we did survive that swim and the run that followed. We'll have to thank the swimming baby jesus' for that one.

Ummm, Race the Lake is just around the corner....

IM Cash Box Update: $177.75

I'd rather be doing a lot of other things...like laying around

There are a lot of other things to do in the several hours of Ironman training. And just to name a few we would enjoy shopping, eating, cooking, baking, watching movies, reading, cutting the lawn, cleaning, laundry, sleeping, making friends and grocery shopping. And keep in mind the list doesn't end there and as you can see we don't ask for much. On this particular Saturday, Kelly should have spent a couple minutes making a pot of coffee. Yum. Caffeine. Right Kelly?

And although not every ride is fantastic, we made it through another 70 miler taking in the usual sights of Kaukauna, High Cliff, Lakeshore Drive and the faces of rusty-truck driving mullet heads who give the death stare. Why are they so angry at spandex???

With hydration replenishing systems lacking, teamdawnkelly also seeks out water refilling stations and as we crept upon the weeks previous sneak-in/sneak-out location, there was no sign of the orange golf cart and the signs had all indications that Candy/Cindy and Dales Cedar Creek Restaurant was CLOSED. NOOOOO!!!! teamdawnkelly was nearly in fear of complete dehydration. But wait, just as we look to the left to cross the highway, here comes a man driving an orange golf cart. "Are you Dale?" "Yes, I am." He welcomed his restaurant open to us and our water needs and wished us a great bike ride. Thank the biking baby jesus' for golf cart driving non-mullet heads who appreciate a little biking exercise.

And orange golf carts weren't the strangest sights that continued on our adventure. Saturday was the day of the dogs. They were EVERYWHERE! Barking on leashes. Barking in fenced in cages. Yipping as they ran along their farmhouse yard. With one dog nearly taking Kelly out from under her wheels, we came upon the happiest, fluffiest and biggest dog of them all and we'll call him Bernie. Bernie the St. Bernard came flying through a field like a white mist and he wasn't out to kill. Bernie wanted to be the "bernie" in teamdawnkellybernie and to this day, teamdawnkelly feels horrible about the look of disappointment in his eyes when we just kept biking without stopping to play. I want a St. Bernard. He would fit nicely in my 900 sq. foot house.

In the midst of the dogs, carts, pedaling and coffee drinkers sitting on their porches, we again pondered the question of what we would rather be doing. And this was the favorite part of my ride. "There are a lot of things I would rather be doing right now. Like laying around." - Kelly Jansen

Stay tuned for a little story about an early morning swim and Race the Lake 2010.

IM Cash Box Update: $172.75

Sunday, August 8, 2010

A Medley of Food Obsessions...at Mile 70

And it all began at the third rest stop and a cooler full of ice and cans of Coca-Cola Classic. It wasn't diet. It wasn't caffeine free. That cola was keepin' it real.

"I haven't had a coke in about a century." And I haven't. But that 1/4 can of ice cold, carbonated and fully caffeinated refreshment was the icing on the cake. And thankfully, Kelly indulged as well. It was just like the commercials said it would be. The food cravings didn't end there and we start rattling off many, many, many food needs. Kelly wanted everything to do with dips, specifically ranch. I want hummus and watermelon. And it continued with fresh veggies, black olives, bread and vinegar & oil, pizza, ice cream, donuts, UNCRUSTABLES!!!, and that list goes on and on. So with just ten miles to go, our desire for Einstein Bagels heightened.

But let us all remember, a frickin' ridiculously hilly 80 mile 2 loop adventure on the IM Madison course is nothing like cold coca-cola or a bowl of watermelon or ranch sauce for that matter. It is hot, dirty, disgusting and so HARD! And Kelly puts it best when she says, "we are two tiny dots and that sun is beating down all over us."

The ride down to Madison was as entertaining as ever. And in true teamdawnkelly fashion, we got lost, but thank the lord above we actually made it to Verona without driving 15 miles out of the way and turning around 17 times. Well, actually, we had to turn around once but that was due to our excitement and lack of attention span at the exit stop light. We made it in time and for me at the time the worst part was the apparent pre-ride WEIGH-IN (WTF???) and the fact that we were both going to pee our pants.

With Kelly being a math teacher, we spent a good amount of time calculating our average speed and how long it will take us to finish a loop and proudly, we finished loop #1 in 2:35 (13 minutes faster than our previous Madison adventure.) Rock on. But wait, it doesn't end there. Our first loop was accompanied by John, our training friend from Chicago-land, who noted a couple of our characteristics. Yes, keep reading.

Out in the hills, the wind and the open land, bikers come and go. They eat. They drink. They stretch their stiff necks while still in a silly comfortable seated position. teamdawnkelly does all of the same. BUT, what we add to the mix you ask? Conversation and laughter. John sits waiting at a small intersection and after packs travel past, teamdawnkelly rounds the corner. And at that moment the only way he can tell it is us is via sounds waves. "We may not be fast but we are fun."

What is not fun? Grumpy folks in big trucks who own the road. Because, as us bikers fail to remember, only people in vehicles pay taxes so they OWN that blacktop. Pardon me. They just hate people in spandex. Those grumps would eat off the backs of grandma and grandpa who are out for a leisure ride on their pink and blue basket adorned bikes. Lame.

But we don't let near-1st-degree-murderers bring us down. There are enough hills out there to do just that. And on that forever memorable loop #2, the hills were still up and in our faces. Hello hills, welcome to the party.

While the hills are the hostess with the mostest, Kelly is the honoree. She counts down, adds, subtracts and multiplies all to figure out time and even counts her pedal strokes up the hills. She also lets me draft when I feel like I may die. She is what anyone needs as a training partner and friend, especially when you feel like your legs are going to burn off. And let us tell you, we know intellectually, that our legs are not actually going to burn off. So we just keep pedaling.

With less than a handful of hills left to go in the ride, we came upon our kindred spirits - "two men in spandex." Nothing says keep your ass moving like a happy, insanely good biker man, say "you ladies look great. rockin' the smiles." Can we put him in our pockets and take him everywhere? The timing was impeccable and his words will never be replaceable.

The end of the 80 miles drew near and we could almost feel the water spewing from the shower heads (and the shower water wasn't an ounce of warm - actually quite refreshing.)

Finally, at our almost perfectly calculated departure time, we head to the trainwreck of a "restaurant"; the Einstein Bagel shop on Verona Road. Our first visit there was a disaster. We went back for a 2nd visit and it was quite pleasant. The 3rd visit was a trainwreck as it consisted of a 15 minute ordering process, followed by a 15 minute check-out process where I swear we got ripped off and came to find out I don't get the entire fruit container? WHAT? I always get the entire container.

A plethora of eggs and hummus and pickles and fruit and carbonated beverages later, we talked with our friend John about Ironman, tattoos, sleep, food and drink and of course, the two old men from the Muppet Show. teamdawnkelly represents those old men which is perfect in our world. And contrary to what you may think, we won't be sitting in the swim to bike transition area chit chatting about how the swim went over a cup of coffee. Although, now that I think about it, if that offers stands, I just may take it.

Bike ride and food time is over. But the drive home still hangs overhead. Kelly doesn't even remember where we are going or where my car is? Mixed into our confusion is more talk of Ironman. It makes us want to throw up everywhere.

And lickidy split...it is Sunday morning. And if there is anything that will get us through the 1 hour swim, it is the idea that when it is said and done, we get to enjoy some almond joy lattes and 1.5 days of NO TRAINING. I'll cash in my chips to that.

Tropical Storm Elkart Lake 2010 showed up for the swim today. We welcomed it to the party, thankfully, because it offered humor. If only we had brought our surf boards. Hang 10 my friends.

Peak week looms ahead meaning dooms day is getting closer...yikes.

Ironman Cash Box Update: $154.75

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

75 Miles Isn't Going to Ride Itself...

And we all know this, right?

In true teamdawnkelly fashion, our 5 hour ride began with some sarcasm. Because what else do we have to do from 6 a.m. to 11 a.m. on a Friday morning.

Quote #1 - "I can't really see my computer? It is really light. Maybe I need to keep pedaling to rev it up a little." Kelly Jansen.

And thank the biking baby Jesus that Friday early to mid-morning brought some sun and ZERO wind equaling a nearly AMAZING bike ride and according to the last several blog posts, we needed that. (What we didn't need was the sun that created even darker unattractive tan lines. Not conducive for the 31st birthday party coming in 24 hours.)

Our first snack break (it's all about the snacks) came at the end of Lakeshore Drive; which is a typical and frequent snack break location for teamdawnkelly.

Quote #2 - "Well, we do only have 50 miles to go." Dawn Ver Haagh

Starting each ride fully equipped with snacks and even enough to share with one another, teamdawnkelly had to come up with a secondary plan for additional fluids. And like a rainbow in a cloudy sky, the Cedar Creek (restaurant name is a guess) just happened to show a sign of life. This sign of life was the two to three OPEN signs displayed on or near the front door. On the inside, a line cook was in the kitchen running water, chopping carrots, listening to music and clearly not listening to Kelly yell "hello!" As we pointed out the unique "ladies room" sign decor, the light bulbs went off. Why wait and yell for someone who will never hear us when we can just go into the bathroom and leave with filled water bottles. Mission accomplished. That line cook didn't know what hit him.

Four hours and forty four minutes later, we were done. But the end of the extremely long training day still consisted of a 30 minute run. It was probably more like 23 minutes but who is counting.

Success. This 75 mile ride was momentous in my world as it was the first time I ever traveled, by the power of my own legs, over 60 miles. I made it. I survived.

Before the weekend of fun could begin, Saturday still loomed ahead with a 2.25 hour run. No big deal. In a slightly exciting way, I was looking forward to getting the run over and done so teamdawnkelly could celebrate life, and my birthday, on a boat with a lifesize cardboard cutout of Robert Pattinson. Yum. And Saturday brought some rain and cooler temps. Finally, a run that didn't leave us feeling self-defeated.

Ironman Cash Box Update: $129.75

Coming right up: Our first 80 mile (2 loop) ride on the Madison IM course followed by a very LATE lunch jokingly early dinner with our friend John.